I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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