I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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