The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
