You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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