i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Come on in and take your pants off
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