I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
