please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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