I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize