Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
