dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize