know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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