So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
