Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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