if you like me you must not know who I am
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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