we're chasing vodka with high fives
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
