I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She even gives head with a lisp.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
