SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize