Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
