i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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