Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize