she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
