I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
