She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The beers last night were like the tears from god
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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