plz talk dirty to me
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize
