Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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