.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
