He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
