He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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