Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
