at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Alive.
So much puke
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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