Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
