PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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