Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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