he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize