I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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