Sponge bath it is.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
