No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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