I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
