you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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