no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
