she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
