Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I should be sponsored by Trojan
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
