It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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