I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
