I met the friendliest cop last night
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
