i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
