do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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