Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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