Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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