Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
