Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
