yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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