I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Randomize
