You're so nebulous sometimes
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
