I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
