I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
