I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
