Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
