Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
