yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize