I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
