I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Pappa wants mamma naked
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
