you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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