Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
this hospital has no fireball
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
