Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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