oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
