I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
