Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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