That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
