it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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