the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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