Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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