wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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