She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
