You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
