One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
not ubering you a puppy
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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