I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
