Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
